Of both varieties (met and unmet).
Recently, I had an experience where expectations went unmet, and I'll elaborate in a second.
I was at the fair (my last post about the fair was just to keep it fun, and one post), with my friends and my man. We all stuck together throughout the day at a tag-along's request, although no one planned on separating, anyway. Not to the best of my knowledge, anyway.
Well, I lied, we got separated from the group when we went to get my wings, but I honestly thought they were right behind us (I walk really fast, especially when I'm excited about something ghost-pepper flavored), then when I got there, I realized that only half the group was there. We found the rest of them eventually, and we even left the fair once to get pizza (I don't know who wanted pizza, and I don't really care, cuz it was fun and we had ghost sauce on our pizza).
So when we got back, I wanted to ask about when one of the booths was coming, so I stopped for a second, the group went on while my boyfriend asked at the booth. The group went on a bit, stopped for a second, and then continued walking after having a chat.
This is where I got a bit irritated. The entire day, if one or two wandered off, the whole group would come up, or at least hang around and send one other person to ask what was going on, then we'd all either stay and continue our route, or collectively team up and head in a new direction. As you can imagine, by now it was dark, so I couldn't see the group once they were a ways off.
And no text. I know it goes both ways, but two people in the group had my number, and I only had one of theirs, but I was busy trying to find them, google the light show starting time (I'd never seen one before until that night), and walk in the dark.
I don't know or really care what happened once we left because no one listened when I told them the light show time, and one of the guys texted me when it ended to ask what time it would be starting. All I could tell him was that they missed it and we were leaving. I went to the bazaar before we left, and I don't know if they caught the fireworks, because I wasn't aware that any would be going on (they also asked about fireworks). I got some last-minute taffy, and the two trinkets you saw in my last post.
Communication really is key, because had we all communicated, perhaps we would have all caught the light show, I wouldn't have been irritated, and the night would have had a more pleasant ending, but I got to spend the rest of it with my man, and we had a blast, anyway. That's what counts.
So, if your expectations aren't being met, let the other party know.
But this reminds me, there were expectations I had for someone, that I communicated to them, and all I got back was verbal confirmation that they would not be met, likely out of spite. I didn't know I was supposed to look for a change in behavior, because I was told that there would not be one. I won't elaborate on the matter further, but I will say this: You can't notice a change in behavior if you were told that the behavior would not change (so you won't look for it, of course). The expectation for you to notice something is not apparent because you don't know it is supposed to be. This is unfair to both parties, because while one is making a concerted effort to change their behavior, they told the first party that they would not, which leaves the other party feeling however they told you they would feel about the behavior that they wanted change.
That was probably too specific, and if it is, I apologize, it was just to say that if you have an expectation out of someone, tell them, and see if you can find an agreement that works for the both of you.
Recently, I had an experience where expectations went unmet, and I'll elaborate in a second.
I was at the fair (my last post about the fair was just to keep it fun, and one post), with my friends and my man. We all stuck together throughout the day at a tag-along's request, although no one planned on separating, anyway. Not to the best of my knowledge, anyway.
Well, I lied, we got separated from the group when we went to get my wings, but I honestly thought they were right behind us (I walk really fast, especially when I'm excited about something ghost-pepper flavored), then when I got there, I realized that only half the group was there. We found the rest of them eventually, and we even left the fair once to get pizza (I don't know who wanted pizza, and I don't really care, cuz it was fun and we had ghost sauce on our pizza).
So when we got back, I wanted to ask about when one of the booths was coming, so I stopped for a second, the group went on while my boyfriend asked at the booth. The group went on a bit, stopped for a second, and then continued walking after having a chat.
This is where I got a bit irritated. The entire day, if one or two wandered off, the whole group would come up, or at least hang around and send one other person to ask what was going on, then we'd all either stay and continue our route, or collectively team up and head in a new direction. As you can imagine, by now it was dark, so I couldn't see the group once they were a ways off.
And no text. I know it goes both ways, but two people in the group had my number, and I only had one of theirs, but I was busy trying to find them, google the light show starting time (I'd never seen one before until that night), and walk in the dark.
I don't know or really care what happened once we left because no one listened when I told them the light show time, and one of the guys texted me when it ended to ask what time it would be starting. All I could tell him was that they missed it and we were leaving. I went to the bazaar before we left, and I don't know if they caught the fireworks, because I wasn't aware that any would be going on (they also asked about fireworks). I got some last-minute taffy, and the two trinkets you saw in my last post.
Communication really is key, because had we all communicated, perhaps we would have all caught the light show, I wouldn't have been irritated, and the night would have had a more pleasant ending, but I got to spend the rest of it with my man, and we had a blast, anyway. That's what counts.
So, if your expectations aren't being met, let the other party know.
But this reminds me, there were expectations I had for someone, that I communicated to them, and all I got back was verbal confirmation that they would not be met, likely out of spite. I didn't know I was supposed to look for a change in behavior, because I was told that there would not be one. I won't elaborate on the matter further, but I will say this: You can't notice a change in behavior if you were told that the behavior would not change (so you won't look for it, of course). The expectation for you to notice something is not apparent because you don't know it is supposed to be. This is unfair to both parties, because while one is making a concerted effort to change their behavior, they told the first party that they would not, which leaves the other party feeling however they told you they would feel about the behavior that they wanted change.
That was probably too specific, and if it is, I apologize, it was just to say that if you have an expectation out of someone, tell them, and see if you can find an agreement that works for the both of you.
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